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This is hard for me to talk about but I’m going to tell as much of my story as possible!
First my goal is to help with the cost of getting a house my 5 kids and I can fit into instead of a 2 bed app.my nightmare started when I decided I needed to get away from a lot of things, was heading for divorce and needed anew surrounding, well I got that new surrounding in California with my life long best friend but things did not quite go as planned, we were staying with her but it was jeopardizing her family with her housing and nobody wanted that to happen whatsoever so after looking and looking we ended up in a casa house for women and children not great but it was food and a roof over my children’s head a place to be somewhat stable in an unstable situation, this was about 3 to 4 weeks of being in California, one night I totally blacked out, still not sure why it happened but I do have a pretty severe case of anemia,
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I don’t know if that could have played a part in what happened but they assumed it was from drugs which was proven to not be the case, I woke up in the hospital by the next morning and all I can remember is asking for my children, they informed me they were with cps at that time I thought no big deal I’ll just go get them, but nope not the case, at that time I was not aware of how crooked these people are that will lie, write and make up things that are totally incorrect and make things up as they see fit, my next morning in court I had a hair and urine test done for any drugs, that came back negative and all the judge did was a continuance on my case so I still wasn’t able to have my kids back, they had nothing on me, no reason to take and hold them, Iv had no convictions, no run ins with cps ever before that, never arrested, never charged with anything, I was just a stay at home mom and that’s all I knew, my kids were rarely ever away from me so this was traumatic for everybody, cps still tried and tried, every single court date was a continuance, never got a plan that other parents got for reunification,
I did nothing wrong and they knew it, I kept asking why i can’t have my kids back and they would just say ” I don’t know” I got to see them for 6 hours a week, which was heart wrenching after being with them all the time it was a nightmare to cope with, i was broken, depressed, it was like my life and soul had been sucked right from me, and I will admit I did self medicate with my prescribed medication after along time without them because I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore I know it wasn’t right, in that moment nothing was right I asked them again finally the worker just says ” I really don’t know, we just want you all to go back to Minnesota” which in my mind was an awfully weird answer, this nightmare and continuances went on for about 10 months then they had their Dad fly out to fly them back to Minnesota which I was glad they were back with family and away from strangers And people that see them as a $ figure,
I was grateful they were now out of the system , which is weird because it’s like they (cps) just vanished, it didn’t transfer, they were just gone from our lives which is good but i think about it and just think it is so weird that they held my babies for almost a year then things just dissipate in the wind?? I never understood that and could never get any answers either, they wouldn’t give me papers or anything, I made it back to Minnesota did an inpatient treatment program,
I extended that one then went to a different one I could have my kids at, and proudly enough I can say the last just about 10 YEARS of my life has been a sober one and my kids are in my life and now I’m just trying to put that final piece of the puzzle together on getting us a house where we can all be together again???, I am just on this mission to fix this empty hole cps has left in all of our hearts, I thank you for your time and just being able to let this out it helps a lot as well! God bless! Love and light with Much love, Tracy
