First off, Thank You, thank you all for your time and your efforts, your words and your thoughts. Thank you for your calls and your texts. Thank you for your concerns and your visits. Thank you for your compassion and for your love, for it is love which ties us all here right now in this very moment.
Hiding behind these mirrored shades I’m wearing, I’m holding onto despair as but a reminder of the incredible love I feel and shall continue to feel for my dad. Death being very much a part of life, I’m trying to teach my son that its alright to feel the pain he’s feeling and to keep it as a reminder of the incredible love he developed between he and his grandpa. My hope is that he’ll gain better understanding of the importance of memory building through meaningful experiences shared with those who will come in contact with his life.
As diverse as well all are, we all share a common single thread…a thread that is my father, Mr. Wade. Many have expressed interest as to when services will be held…As of right now, things are undecided. This has been extremely hard on my sister, thus I am left alone in figuring this all out. For those of you who didn’t know, my father was a Vietnam Veteran. I have the option of placing him at Riverside National Cemetery, or…, Pacific Crest Cemetery in Redondo Beach which is located directly across the street from Adams Middle School which he adored (Go Eagles!). Personally, I’d prefer to see him planted as an Oak tree somewhere in the city of Redondo Beach…(Let’s get some shade under Wade). Whatever the decision, I promise to let everyone know in advance. For a Wade gathering should be one that is a celebration of his life and not one that is a gathering of despaired hearts. And I would love for my son Gabriel to see just how much his grandfather meant to others and this community. It would be great for us all to be in one place at the same time. All walks, sizes, shapes and colors displaying love for one another with one common thread being my dad. I want my son to not only see and hear how much his grandfather meant to others, I want him to see the faces of the many friends my dad had so I must do this correctly. A service will be held but at a date later to be determined.
Turning the page has proven especially harder than not. Whereas my dad’s death as mind blowing and as difficult as that has been, is but a fraction of what I’m dealing with. My dad’s passing further complicates things with my sister who was basically inseparable from my dad for more than 30 years and was 100% reliable on him to survive and now finds herself suddenly alone. She has refused to participate and or cooperate with anyone regarding my dad’s final days and or final resting place. La Teka has taken on certain characteristics of my dad who wasn’t very fond of hospitals after almost having his legged amputated from negligence and malpractice many years back. La Teka’s health isn’t well either. She is denying herself treatment from a potentially serious condition as well as needing to be mental evaluated. All of this while having also to find options for someone who none of you know… Whereas my father Mr. Wade was larger than life, my mother, who as Murphy’s Law would have it, is suddenly in need of 24 hour care, is not.
In trying to appear normal, I know that I am not. I am emotionless and at times frozen in a vortex of thoughts, ideas, memories and dreams. All I can do is inhale, exhale, prioritize and take it one day at a time.
I hope this update finds you all at peace. I will give notice when things are less chaotic about a get together to celebration his life. I know that everyone has schedules. I will give ample notice.