Legal help Free Friend from Domestic Violence GoFundME Campaign

I am written on behalf of a close friend and her young child. This friend has been failed and let down by society , the police , mental health, social services, etc .

I cannot disclose any names due to risking  jeopardising pending investigations and privacy of the minor involved/

A vulnerable female friend of mine has been trapped suffering psychological and physical abuse since her earliest childhood memory’s , this abuse too place at the hands of her own mother and father, over the years she has attempted many times to break free from their control , My friend spent some time in woman’s refuge trying to break free from this difficult situation, she went into a woman’s refuge whilst pregnant to protect her life and life of her unborn child,

Circumstances led to some depression and anxiety,

fast forward,

With a lack of support on resettlement,

Trying to do right by her child she allowed one trusted relative a sibling of hers to stay in contact,

At this stage in her life my friend had no inclination and could not of for seen that one day in years to come a day would arrive when the sister she loved and looked up-to would one day be the one to betray her trust ,
placing her life and the child that she was currently still carrying at grave risk,

Over the years a few things became clear,

The day my friend had lived in fear off ,
the day she dreaded prayed hoped would never come,
-had now arrived,

Her most trusted confident now posed such a grave danger to her and her now primary aged young child ,
that in genuine fear for her life and the safety of her young child my friend had to think fast on her feet,

with no time to pack unprepared for this event my friend only had time to grab her purse and a sleeping bag ,
In the middle of the night my friend found herself
gently waking her sleeping child dressing her sleepy child before carrying her young child down the stairs to her car gently placing her sleepy child into the car seat fastening the clips as gently and quietly as possible, as as her young child dozed back off to sleep,

No idea where she was going my friend just drove and drove,

she decided in the morning that she would go the nearest police station and make a statement,

It was time to be brave and make that statement,
she had been putting of making this statement and living in fear for 32 years,

NO more she had decided enough was enough, she had upped and moved too many times lost to much to keep running,

before this current threat arose,
My friend was still looking over her shoulder
From the last incident of abuse, from another threat,

As well as looking over her shoulder all these years from her own relatives living in fear that one day these abusive parents may turn up unexpectedly,-

My friend had also previously been taken advantage off and endured sexual violence and psychological abuse at the hands of her child’s father,
When the abuse started at l home at the hands of her child’s father,
Having no family and few people she trusted my friend felt she had no where to turn too, and that the law, society would not be able protect her and her child,

The system had failed her so many times already,
that when the violence began in her own home my friend
Concluded that the only way to protect to herself and her young child was to smile threw an bide her time until she was is in a better position to escape for this situation,

She had no great attachment to this current house this would be the 6th move,

this time she was determined more than ever that this would be the last move

she vowed she would never endure or run again she knew this time she needed to settle and put down roots,

-As the abuse become more violent,

She realised she had no choice but to move her plan to leave the current property forward,

planing in secret to move house making her excuses, to people around her for being busy,

She had left no forwarding address, with anyone other than one trusted relative her older sister, growing up she had looked up to her older sister, she believed her sister to be the only person in the world that she could trust and always depend on,

Leaving behind her home and the life she had worked hard to rebuild to start over fresh,

she had decided against going to the police at the times of the sexual attacks and other violent incidents she had endured due to fear that the U.K. police service would dismiss her and deem it consensual due to the fact they have a child together,

My friend also felt much shame that these sexual attacks had took place in frount of her young toddler she felt that she had failed as a mother by not being able to protect her child from seeing this events and awful acts,
she felt that she was to blame,
That it was her own fault for not being strong enough to fight off the abuser,

My friend to this day feels very ashamed that her very young toddler who had barely begun walking with limited speech to express had looked on crying an waving ones small arms wailing the only known word the young toddler knew “mumma mamma” my friend decided this was the last this attack she would endure and the last attack her young child would ever witness again,

After moving in time my friend settled into her new home she began to look forward to the future , the once run down flat over time with a lot of hard work a lick of fresh paint and a few nick nacks started to finally feel homely , so far until now she had been left her in peace ,

with quite some miles between location and her child’s father-
My friend believed that her child’s father for the next 3 years did not know her current address,
She beloved that her sister had so far kept her promise that she would never place my friend in danger she had promised she would not give out any of my friends details onto him or mother and father,

For a these next 3 years my friend lived a quiet peaceful life

As more each time passed without incident she began to feel a sense of security somewhat safe,

Unknown to my friend at the time all these years her trusted sibling that had been her rock and shoulder the only relative my friend had trusted to keep in contact with ,

had been feeding her info details onto her abusive parents and her abusive ex partner the father of her child,

The sibling had been arranging visits without her knowledge,
The countless times the sibling had offered to pick up my friends young baby offering to babysit overnight so my friend could have a weekend off to rest all under the pretence of being a caring sister and relative,

The sibling had only been betraying my friends confidence and had been inviting the abusive father around and other unsavoury relatives abusive relations to see the child,

This only came to light as the child grew older and the child’s vocal skills grew,
the child began speaking of relatives people who had visited her at aunties house,

On trying to cut out the untrustworthy relative from her life,

my friend was threatened, and reminded by this relative that they had keys to her property,
once again she found her self feeling trapped living in fear for her young child and her own safety,

My friend had previously let her guard down and passed a spare key onto her sibling when she suddenly became taken very ill an had to be rushed to the local a&e by ambulance for scans and emergency treatment , doubled over suffering unexpected crippling stomach pains,
given the urgency of the situation and being a single parent of a very young child my friend reluctantly had to call on this sibling and ask for help looking after her young child,
My friend unfortunately was not back on her feet for a few days and required some bed rest,

Once discharged from hospital my friend returned home,
To resume her normal mummy duties and settle back into routine of the school run,
On return she politely asked her sibling for the spare house key to be returned,

It was and unexpected shock to my friend when the only relative she had trusted all these years in confidence suddenly turned nasty and controlling,
Refusing to give the key back,
quoting the words I’m your sister I’m entitled to these keys, and I’m keeping them,

This shed light on the once trusted sibling true nature ,
now my friend lived in fear once more,

Not knowing where to turn or who she could trust,

My friend smiled threw and played happy families with this sibling of hers for a further 3 years keeping quiet as long as she could,

To that day came when out of the blue she received a direct threat,

the threat to her safety had came to light after her young child had stayed for weekend with auntie ,
my friends child had overheard a conversation between the auntie and my friends estranged parents,

On picking her child from the weekend sleepover at aunties, it was a surprise and a shock for my friend to be greeted by her now school age very vocal child talking excitedly telling her all about how the estranged grandparents are due to arrive tomorrow morning for a holiday and how they will to coming to visit her, and can’t wait to meet her,
The child’s head had been filled with many questions of what these estranged relatives were like,

My friend had heard nothing about these plans or been asked if it was ok for these estranged relatives to visit,

My friend had to have a difficult conversation with her sibling later that night,

my friend asked her sibling too please respect her wishes and not to ask or contact her ever again in regards to these estranged relatives, or she would have no choice but to also cut her out from her life too,

In the early hours sometime after midnight my friend received a strange message, from this sibling, it was not an apology for overstepping the line or her sibling offering to be more respectful on my friends wishes,

It instead read :
We’re on our way,

My friend replied with a question mark to receive no response,

Other than another confirmation a repeat message now reading we’re on our way to your home now,

My friend than responded by sms message with the response that no one is welcome to enter her property and that in the morning she would be going to the police station to make a statement, hoping that they think twice about forcing themselves upon her and would leave her be to live her life in peace,

When met with no polite response,

My friend than jumped in her car,

That night My friend drove to and unknown location many miles away,
After stopping at services for toilet needs a wash and to collect some food drinks supply’s etc,

My friend continued driving further on into the night to a more rural location,
Where she pulled over and parked up for the night,
Laying her child down in the back seat Placing a sleeping bag over child ,

My friend sat up threw the night keeping watch, contemplating where to go from here ?

I’n a few hours my friend bravely made her way to the local police station,

With a shady relative having a copy of her keys this time my friend decided the police station was only option she had,
She couldn’t chance returning home
Knowing they are most likely inside her property,

It was getting more difficult to keep moving house my friend had realised the her child now needed stability, after two nursery’s and starting primary reception class my friend wanted stability,
For her child to be able to settle and make friends,

she ignored her gut instinct and silenced the inner warning bells and bravely and calmly decided that she would walk into the police station and request to make a statement,

Oddly on arrival to the police station a lady officer came outside as my friend was arriving,
my friend asked for directions about where she would go and to whom she would need to speak to about making a statement,
The lady officer asked my friend her name and the officer than smiled and beckoned politely for my friend and child to come into the police station out of the cold striking polite conversation on the walk up to the building,

The friendly police office reassured my friend with the words don’t worry we’re have a chat and see what we can do to help you let’s get you inside in the warmth where we can have a cuppa tea,

Once threw the door things suddenly changed

On hearing the door suddenly click locked behind her a chill came over her my friend asked herself why was the door being locked behind her?

My friend was than asked do you take any medication ?

My friend thought this was and odd question but answered honestly, yes I take antidepressants for anxiety ,

Very suddenly after after saying yes antidepressants ,
a second officer suddenly appeared jumping out from around the corner citing that this child is now under police custody for protection,

(It was as if they were expecting her?
Something was amiss )

No explanation as to why was given Other than for the child’s own safety,

My friend and her child was than shown to a room with a sofa where she was told she
and her young child could wait,

In a few hours unbeknown to my friend a social worker would turn up saying they are placing this child under immediate protection into emergency foster care why my friend goes for psychiatric evaluation ,

Also unbeknown to my friend at the time multiple phone calls had been made to the police and social services threw out the night,
before my friends arrival at the police station, reports had been made by multiple persons “the relatives and relatives friends” etc.

reporting that my friend is very mentally unwell a danger to society and on the run with a child portraying my friend as a risk to herself and others,

The police refused to take any statement or any action to protect my friend they would not even help me friend in her request assistance in obtaining her spare house key she asked if they could change the locks on her property only for this request to be refused,

It also came to light that why my friend was at the police station these relatives had entered her property without permission and no charges were ever brought against them as they had a key,

It would appear looking back that the police had already made up their mind on my friends case before meeting my friend,

they had taken these abusive manipulators phone calls and reports against my friend as being the absolute truth,

They instead took a happy healthy child away,
insisting that the abuse the threat to my friends safety was not real and had been imagined all made up by in my friends mind,
as a result of mental illness,
They quoted to my friend that she was delusional on questioned further their response to my friend was : it is possible to be so unwell that even you believe your own delusions,

My friend was confused by this she only suffered depression and anxiety,
She has No history of psychosis,

as a result of this report by the police the
the child’s care needs were passed onto the child’s father,
The man my friend had previously had to up and move away from, due to enduring sexual assaults and other violent acts,

the final outcome being shared custody between both mother and father,
but to this day the situation is being controlled by a abusive controlling man who keeps changing and breaking the shared custody order,
It was agreed For the child to spend most of the week with the child’s father,and return to mother for weekends and school holidays etc this outcome was due to the fabricated reports from relatives and officials that my friend had imagined her abuse and is suffering delusions so real that my friend deeply believes these attacks of abuse actually happened, making her unsuitable on paper to be written up as recognised as the child’s main and sole care provider,

The father of the child is still to this day abusing controlling my friend changing the order and making unreasonable demands and threats when he feels like it,

The father takes constant trips abroad to his home county with the young child to unknown address’s outside of the U.K. to see family members who reside aboard,

my friend knows nothing about these relatives not even names,
The father often providing no times and dates of when the child they share will be returned back to the U.K.,

On questioning his excuse to authorities or anyone who asks is always the same response the mother is showing signs of a mental health relapse,
I’m currently cutting all contact until the child’s mother appears more stable as I have to protect my child’s well being,

The child’s father gets away with this time and time again.

the child is very confused and damaged by this,

until the incident of being sent to this abusive man as part of a shared custody arrangement the young child did not even know who this man was, the child had not seen this man since the age of 2 years old,

My friend a doting loving mother had poor legal representation to fight this and had no family support, whilst going threw the family courts and legal proceedings,

Without any family support or witnesses to the attacks the outcome was not in my friends favour,

The shared custody arrangement is being broken constantly and days times changing with little no notice,

I’m trying to raise funds in order to help my friend to be able too afford fees for a decent solicitor, to enable her to go back to the family court to request fair access,

All my friend hopes for is fairness and respect she’d liked the current order which is constantly broken to be enforced,

But Without a solicitor and a good legal team to represent her thew the courts ,

My friend sadly feels the courts will take no notice and are unlikely to do anything or take the broken shared custody order seriously,

For now the abuser is controlling everything completely as he knows that without being in a position to afford a good solicitor my friend is powerless and very reluctant to fill out the necessary court forms to report the constant breaches taken place in regards to the current legal document in place,

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