Rhonda Live launched a GoFundMe campaign seeking assistance via GoFundMe, which relates to the wellbeing of my three children and my role as a single mother.
For much of my life I have worked hard, balancing a part time job in childcare, with office administration work so my kids could one day have a life with less struggle than myself.
But I haven’t had a choice.
The first blow came when my eldest was only five years old. He was about to start kindergarten. I had managed to get him a place in a private school so he would be taken care of and nurtured. When he was just starting and life looked ripe with so many possibilities, the father of my children walked out on us.
I was left with the choice of pulling my son out of a school I had worked so hard to get him a place in, but every time I dropped him off I felt that he should just stay there for now. I had heard at the time that any sudden changes like that, when his parents were going through a separation, would be scarring for him and his siblings. The protracted process between their father and I lead to be developing mental exhaustion, as in our split he eventually took the house and left us with only scraps.
This, even though he knew about my needing to stay home at the time to take care of the little ones. This, even though I had had three car accidents earlier in life, and developing chronic long term pain that came and went, which I had little control over. This, in spite of the fact that when we first met, he had arrived in Australia with nothing. I helped him settle, I gave him shelter, I allowed him to build a life here.
And I was expecting that he was building it with me.
Since then, he has not paid a single dollar towards child support; On paper, he appears nearly bankrupt, but in reality he works cash in hand.
Now I am 44. I have tried to struggle through the shattered remnants of our lives together. I still struggle with migrants, I need to visit a chiropractor or physiotherapist most weeks, and am reliant on painkillers to remain myself.
My main purpose in life, including creating an appeal through GoFundMe, is so my children might have a better adulthood that in some ways makes up for their traumatic early years.
My youngest princess is 17, recently completed year 12 and wants to study physiology. My second son is currently struggling however with getting work as a plumber, due to his asthma and lack of self-confidence. I worry for his mental health that his early career is taking on him.
My eldest however is perhaps the most troubled by the shadow his father cast over him. He can never really find his place or his tribe, jumping from one career to another and not able to hold down a job for long. He has probably the clearest memory of what happened between his father and I and is haunted by his inability to do anything at the time, he was too little. It is like he was another heart in my life, which soaked up all the bad emotions, and every hug he gave me was a light in the middle of a dark night.
He wants to work; He wants to give his siblings an allowance; He wants us all to live in a better place and dreams of housing us all to physically take us away from the pain of the past. He has a good heart and he wants for his sister and brother to succeed in their own lives, all the while helping me with my own conditions that I have developed over the years.
Seeing him dream so large, yet feel so powerless … it has to stop.
What I am appealing for is help for him to be the person he can be. No amount of words from me can help him feel validated and it’s something that has wormed its way into his character since he was 7. It kills me that I have to put a happy face on as a parent, because it is a mask behind which I hide the sadness that I have for what he went through as a child. And it was because of my naivety. And I blame myself in large part for what he is going through now.
If you got to know me, you would find that I’m not someone who would readily ask for help. I don’t want your pity, for myself or for my children.
What I desperately need is for my children to feel empowered again, to have the courage to take on professional careers, to one day be able to help others in need (as all three of them aspire to). I am appealing to you now, to help me lead them away from being in the vulnerable states they are in their nascent adulthood, so they follow the right paths and do not repeat the mistakes or cruelties of their father.
Hopefully one day, when they hear of the generosity on the people who donate to this page for their cause, they will be inspired to give to another.
Please support this campaign at
rhonda_ [at] live.com.au
Wetherill Park, NSW
Rhonda Live, GoFundMe, Wetherill Park, NSW, Australia, Single MOther, Education, Childcare, Family Assistance, Single Mom